hello! you can call me astra! my middle name is crystal, i also go by rosie..
i'm 18, sapphic, and i love drawing, video games, daydreaming, sleeping, nostalgia, nature, stars, friendship and alot more.. this website is still a work in progress, so come back later for more updates! : '・D ♥︎

my favorite song

..diary created april 15, 2024..

april 15, 11:51 pm
hello! this is where i will write down my thoughts,, about my life, myself, and more.. my girlfriends website inspired me to make one of my own, which is happylifeforever on neocities! ♥︎ but mine will not be on neocities, i don't know how to code at all.. ;_;i'm excited to use this,, i used to have a diary account on my social media accounts, but it was kind of embarrassing posting them knowing everybody can see it.. this feels more private and comfortable for me, so i can feel more comfortable expressing my thoughts here.. : '・)lately i've been reminiscing alot.. i think about the past too much i think,, i miss certain versions of my past selves, and people who aren't in my life anymore either.. time is something i can never wrap my mind around. it's scary and even painful for me.. but i know i can't let that stop me from enjoying my lifeapril 16, 1:16pm
i really want to live like a kid again.. or be like my younger self again. i am still like how i was when i was younger, but i also want to feel it too,, if that makes sense.. i still surround myself with things i liked back then, and i'm still obsessed with animal crossing, nintendo, magicians quest,, zelda... i don't think that'll ever change.. and i don't want it too anyway,,
9:30 pm
i think i am in my head a little too much.. i always felt more comfortable just thinking rather than talking aloud,, but alot of the times it's very difficult having so many thoughts everyday. i sometimes hate it.. i always overthink over little things, i worry about how i look or come off to others, i worry i'm not doing enough or i'm not being kind enough, i hope to drop this very long lasting habit of mine someday, i will make it a goal..
april 17, 10:58 pm
i want to try updating my diary at least daily, though i'm sure i'll have days where i forget..
today wasn't so bad, i had a headache all day though.. and i had an uncomfortable dream this morning.. the kind of dream that makes you happy to be awake,,
i'm probably going to spend the rest of my night blogging/playing animal crossing : '・>
april 20, 1:26 am
today was not the best day.. i've been dealing with alot of family issues, and have for a long time. i'm worried about many things i don't know if i want to write all down right now, maybe someday. i just worry about my parents. i want to help them.. even though i know they should be helping themselves for a long time now and changing to get better, i don't think it'll happen.. i have to at least try and make it happen..
i'm going to be up really late tonight again probably.. i spent most of my day not doing much at all. i need to get myself together fast.. i don't want to waste spring being this way
i'm going to do my best to stay positive.. and do what i can with what i have.
~
i try to remember that even if i don't do alot in a day, at least i did something.. lately i've felt embarrassed by how unproductive i can be, but i try to remind myself i don't choose to be that way.. i get burnt out so easily, i have to be very wary of what i put my energy into because of that.. even doing daily chores exhausts me, maybe it's because of my diet..? i don't know... i didn't use to be this way. so i suspect it's something i can improve.. but it's been like that for a good couple years now..
i played my favorite video games, watched my favorite shows, and made some art.. even if that's not alot or very productive to most,, i'm proud i at least did that.
april 24, 1:27am
hello.. not much has happened since i last updated here: '・) today was okay, i played animal crossing with my girlfriend and that was really fun,, other than that i was mostly in bed, honestly..
i feel like i've wasted so much time being sad. i feel like i already wasted half of spring being sad.. but i know that's something i can't control,, i'm still trying hard to stay positive. my family problems has been bringing me down the most.. i just feel so lonely when i'm around them.. it feels like they just pretend i'm not there. even though they know i'm hurt about so many things,, and i don't know how to express that. i try and have tried but everything stays the same.. i guess i need to realize that i need to focus on my own life and myself.. it's always been like this so i know it's something i can't control.i worry about my future too.. i have hopes and doubts about different things,, life sure is scary.. but i know what i need to do most is keep working hard and staying positive..april 27, 12:43 am
today wasn't so bad.. i felt alot better and calmer today actually, i want to take care of myself more, and be healthier, i really want to grow my hair long too, i miss styling it... idk why i cut off my hair a few months ago, it probably would've been past shoulder length by now if i didn't;-; i'm seriously never cutting my hair again without thinking through it completely... i hope i will do alot this year, and i will see my girlfriend alot too,, i have hopes that this summer will be good, but i also worry about jinxing stuff all the time, everything should be okay, though..being in love is truly amazing when it's the right person, i seriously never thought i'd see the day... but my girlfriend really proved me wrong,, i wish she knew how much i appreciate her, because even through words it's not enough to express my gratitude for her.. if only i could create a whole new universe just for her or something... : '・) she's asleep and i miss her very much i'm trying to stop being such a night owl because she sleeps earlier than me! (；へ：)

♥︎ may, my special clover! ♥︎

may is my best friend and lover! we started dating feburary 7,, and we met in person for the first time in feburary 17.. one of the happiest + best days of my life! (´；ω；｀)i associate may with: clovers, dandelions, bears, teddy bears, old web, nostalgia, kirby, animal crossing, totoro + more...
we have a snail child named googles that we adopted april 2nd!my favorite things about her: her personality, art, smile, laugh, humor... + EVERYTHING! 🥲 she brings out the best in me, and i feel like i can be my truest self around her..

♥︎ characters that remind me of us! ♥︎
green is may, pink is me! : '・)

rainbow dash and fluttershy
kase and yui
mallow and clover
nana and hachi
falin and marcille

..dream diary created april 22nd, 2024..

hello! this is where i will write my dreams down, so i can remember them.. my dreams always meant alot to me, and it's very important for me to remember them too. so this is where i will keep them,!

dream 4/22/24

i was laying near what i think it was a large window, next to a street.. i was staring out the window, it was night. i saw cars drive by, the car lights would shine right on my face so i had to cover my face.. the window was that close to the street. but when i looked up at the sky i saw so many stars, and planets, like nothing i've seen in a dream before.. i even saw these little stars start to move; and they all formed into the shape of a large star in the sky..towards the end of the dream i saw a shooting star,, and i remember the very thing i said: i wish for happiness for me and those around me, and i wish to be with my girlfriend forever too (may)